Let's literally take a stand

I heard some disturbing news the other day and I was so amazed that my teeth literally fell out of my mouth. And yes, apparently I can say that because the news was that the OED, as well as Mirriam-Webster, define 'literally' as 'virtually'. Will the madness never end?
literally

Mirriam-Webster 2:  in effect :  virtually 

Oxford English Dictionary

c. colloq. Used to indicate that some (freq. conventional) metaphorical or hyperbolical expression is to be taken in the strongest admissible sense: ‘virtually, as good as’; (also) ‘completely, utterly, absolutely’. Now one of the most common uses, although often considered irregular in standard English since it reverses the original sense of literally.

Yes, yes, yes, I know that English is literally an ever-moving river of thought and change, and frequently sludge, but really, this is bit much. Let's face it, this is big.

If we accept that what is literal is actually only figurative than there goes the comic validity of Sheldon Cooper cocking his head, raising his eyebrows as he says, "literally?" when Penny enthusiastically says something like, "My head literally exploded!" This always gets a huge laugh, as it should. Sheldon is a hoot, as is Penny. (If you don't watch The Big Bang Theory, you might try it. We all need a little inane laughter in our lives.)

Not only will comedy be effected. How will we know when literally means just that. Suppose I went to a hockey game and was hit in the mouth by a puck and I was telling you that my teeth literally fell out of my mouth. How would you know whether or not they had? Well, the ice pack, tears, the inability to open my mouth and the need to write all of this down for you might give it away. But you get my drift.

So, as writers, readers, and lovers of the English language, I think we should literally take a stand - in front of the TV as we watch The Big Bang Theory and wear helmets to hockey games while standing in an upright position

Odds and ends/College Park Book Festival, March 22nd

Just a few odds and ends before I get back to the serious business of writing Book Number Three. Can you believe it? I finally got the first few pages written and am determined to continue uninterrupted. I find the patently ridiculous notion that I can go for an hour or so uninterrupted amusing. At any rate, I left Daisy explaining to Rose that the ghost she saw was real. Since Rose is taking some convincing on this (being a firm believer that there are no ghosts in this world) and since Daisy is rapidly downing Spooky Juice (a nice little Halloween cocktail that Rose is testing out) to calm her rapidly beating heart, I'd better hurry up here or Daisy will be too looped to tell her story!

So, a quick Eileen insurance update. We all need a good laugh. March 1, her new private pay Kaiser insurance kicked in, so Tom took her prescriptions to be filled at the Rite-Aid she has been using for years. Come to find out that these drugs, which are old, generic, tried and true meds that are in no way odd or experimental, and which were prescribed by Kaiser doctors and have been covered by Kaiser for the last two years, are NOT covered by this Kaiser policy. How about that!

Adding insult to injury, Rite-Aid neglected to tell Tom that there was a coupon available on-line that would reduce the cost by half. And of course didn't point out that if he had the meds filled at Target he could get them for a mere fraction of the $200 they were charging. I love our health care system. How dare anyone suggest that perhaps changing it is a good thing.

On a happier note, I had my first ever spa experience. My darling husband must have been in fear of me going bananas, so he got me a spa day for Christmas. I was just too tense to use it in January. He didn't understand the thinking here, but I feel that other tense ladies will. I mean, I was so stressed that the thought of choosing which salad I wanted for lunch was a little too much.

So I waited until February and enjoyed a stress-free day being pampered. I thought I might be able to clear my mind and do a bit of plotting for my book, but I was just too mellow. Unfortunately, to paraphrase Tolkien, good times don't really make a good story, so there you have it - lovely day and home to a lovely man who took me out to dinner that night. Other than that, the long, long winter seems to be coming to an end! Yay!!! One short announcement - March 22nd – I’ll be taking part in the Second Annual College Park Book Festival on March 22, 2014 from 2 to 4 PM at the Hollywood Methodist Church (on the corner of Rhode Island Avenue and Hollywood Road). The event is co-sponsored by the College Park Lions Club and the College Park Community Library. This is a family, fun filled activity which gives us a chance to highlight local authors and encourage reading in the community. I hope you’ll come by and say hello.

Cabin fever and a grammar hammer

Well, this winter seems never-ending and cabin fever is bringing out the worst in me. I just read a list of the most 'contented' states - states where life expectancy is longer, that have a very low percentage of obese people, and have higher yearly incomes. Most of them were damned cold; Minnesota and both Dakotas. I'm thinking people live longer because their organs are frozen for about a third of the year, and so, are better preserved.

But, that's neither here nor there. Cabin fever is making my worst nit-picky side come out. Everything annoys way too easily. So I've decided to have a pet peeve a week and kind of spread out the irritation until spring blooms and I can get into the open air and take a walk. (To those of you who will point out that I actually can take a walk in the cold - I don't want to.)

This week's peeve is grammar. My mother was a funny lady and pretty lenient about most things, but when it came to table manners and grammar she was a real stickler and I like to think I'm carrying her torch, so to speak. Yes, I know that English is a fluid, ever-changing language. But I believe it's important to master the basics before creating something new.  

There are a few things I've given up on. "Hopefully" when you mean "I hope" for example. Though strictly incorrect, the meaning is clear. My mother held hopefully this was used by politicians in the hope that no one would actually associate them personally with what they were hoping. Probably a good assumption.

And the other day I heard a newscaster say "impactful." What can you say to that? I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. And using "are done" when you really mean "have finished" just makes me sad, but I feel it's here to stay.

However, the misuse of the pronouns "me" and "I" still has me yelling at the television and muttering under my breath when I can't really, politely, correct someone out loud.

Growing up, one of the big errors that seemed to abound was the misuse of the word 'me'. "Johnny and me are going to the park." My mother would say "Hmm?" and wait for a correction to "Johnny and I." Then she'd give the okay nod.  

Somehow the pendulum seems to have swung so far that much of the English speaking world is afraid to use 'me'. So now I hear from teachers, friends, TV reporters, and characters on the screen, say, "Would you like to go to the park with Johnny and I?" or "They were having lunch with Mom and I?" It's the object of a preposition for crying out loud. What you really want to to say is, "With me." It's making me nuts and, as my husband will attest, I'm already walking a fine line on that front.

So please, for the sake of my sanity, let's nip this insidious practice in mid-bloom and go back to the good old days when spring was in the air and we loved to say, "I ain't gonna say ain't 'cause ain't ain't in the dictionary."

Insurance Debacle Update

So many people have been kind enough to ask how we are getting along with the whole insurance debacle that I feel I should publish a little update.




This week we ended up getting Eileen private pay insurance. This will give us some breathing room to see if we can work through the system or not.


After a week spent on the phone and in the Affordable Care Office set up in the Prince George's County Social Services office, my feeling is that we will not be able to unless we go to Annapolis and sit on Anthony Brown's desk and make him notice us.


Unbelievably, even the poor saps who work in that office have no more access to the powers that be than you or I. After spending almost two hours waiting last Wednesday we finally met with a really nice guy named Ronald. He understood our problem, could not fix it there, and spent an hour to get through to customer service, only to be cut off once he connected. And he wasn't even able get the same person back on the line! It's enough to scream.


Some have asked if this has caused me to change my political affiliation - it has not. I figure you don't disown your children because of mistakes, even disastrous ones. You just end up being bitterly disappointed and you don't vote for them for Governor.


On a cheerier note - MDHMH sent a correction letter. They realized that Eileen is the Ward and that I am the Guardian. Will wonders never cease?


PS: A dear friend has given me a 'special number' that she called and got immediate help. This may work for us, but because of other circumstances to do with Medicaid, we haven't used this magic bullet. I'm saving it though, just in case.

Health insurance and some rather inventive language

Just an amusing little anecdote today about the wonderful Maryland health system and our ward.


For those of you who may not know, two years ago Tom and I became the 'guardians' of his adult cousin, Eileen, when her mother died. Eileen has myriad developmental problems and some mental health issues as well. She is just able to live by herself in the house she grew up in with the help a home health aide. We have power of attorney. Tom handles all of her finances and I handle health issues and groceries. Eileen pretty much depends on us for everything.


Now between a massive screw-up (no other word for it) with her old employer and its new COBRA administrator and the massive screw-up (again, no other word for it) that is the Affordable Health Care Act in Maryland, Eileen is at this moment without insurance.


So far, you say, not very amusing. It's coming.


I said above 'no other word for it', but I am wrong. My dear husband has found many other words for it. I've never heard most of them. Not that I am particularly conversant with that particular speech form. I've never been a sailor. But I have seen a lot of movies. I've heard a lot of language in those movies. And I think those writers could up their vocabulary a notch or two by speaking to my husband about Healthcare in Maryland.


However, just when things looked pretty darned bleak and what we both needed was a really good laugh, we got a letter in the mail from the Maryland Department of Mental Health. It was a request to fill out a survey on our recent dealings with the agency. God bless their little pea-picking hearts, the letter was addressed to Eileen - the parent/guardian/caretaker of Penny Petersen. And we thought these agencies had no sense of humor. 


The letter did the trick. Tom laughed. I laughed. My daughter laughed. My sister laughed. True, this is not much of a story and perhaps you had to be there, but after a day spent at Social Services trying in vain to correct the whole insurance fiasco, that silly letter turned out to be a life saver.

Tunnel vision - or the lack thereof

Writing can be difficult to say the least. That blank page thing is not an exaggeration. Blank pages are pretty damned scary. And my male tunnel vision approach is not working out as planned.


Yesterday I woke up determined to get a two page synopsis of my new book written. To the uninitiated I know this sounds like a piece of custard tart - Mary met John, they fell in love, they discovered a body, the dog ate the evidence, the killer attacked the dog, Mary saved John from a burning building and they caught the maniac. All lived happily ever after, except the maniac who disapproved of the prison's Friday lunch menu.


But I find trying to reduce 65,000 words to a measly 800 or so while keeping some semblance of an orderly plot, and making it interesting and reflective of my writing style is really, really hard. But I was determined not to give in to all of the distractions around me and get it done! (Oh my goodness, my nails really need a manicure.)


I had already done the grunt work. I had reread my notes, scanned the book, and made an outline to follow. I was reviewing said notes and deciphering my chicken scratch (my handwriting leaves something to be desired, such as legibility) when the phone rang. I needed to answer it because we were expecting - no, expecting is too strong a word - we were hoping for a call from the insurance company about our ward's health insurance. So I answered it. Shouldn't have. It was as you might have guessed a salesperson on a mission. (Just a minute, I need another cup of tea.)


Back to the writing board, tea in hand. I had just figured out what "D&R wanr behind" written in the margin meant when I remembered that I had not yet done my aerobic arm exercise - my New Year's resolution. Four minutes dancing with weights to 'I Will Survive" and I was back to business.


Four hours, five cups of tea, three more phone calls, a snack, another snack, a minute dusting the computer, a call to my daughter, and a quick load of laundry later and it was done. 64,879 words encapsulated in a brief 639 word précis. It wasn't bad. A little humor, strong plot line, characters clearly identified. This was okay. Culprit caught and put in jail. But it seemed like something was missing. I read it again - slowly. OMG, I forgot the murder! Tunnel vision where art thou?

2014 - It's got to be a better year

As the new year begins I am trying to get back into a rhythm of some sort regarding, I was going to say my writing, but my life would be more accurate.


Too much has been going on in the extended family and very little of it good. A death and two serious illnesses have taken their toll on all of us. I have been distracted to say the least. I find myself staring out the window a lot, walking in aimless circles, eating a lot of junk food, and generally wasting entire days unable to focus.


But it's 2014, time to pull myself up by my bootstraps - I am not entirely sure what bootstraps are, but I'm pretty sure that pulling them up is a good thing - and getting on with life, writing, and - heaven help me - a healthier, or at least less fattening, diet.


First step - I will be positive. After all 2013 wasn't all bad. I did get my book published. Last week I went to Barnes and Noble in Alexandria and signed some books for the store. Just like a real author! I'm going to a cozy mystery conference in May. This is all good stuff.


And second - I'm getting organized. I can hear a lot of laughing out loud, but I'm determined. I will develop tunnel vision. I will be like many men I know and completely ignore anything that is not right in front of me.


Of course, this will happen as soon as I finish writing this blog, making dinner, and then spending tomorrow on the phone with the fine people from Affordable Health Care, COBRA, CareFirst and probably a few others in order to straighten out the mess someone - and we have no idea who - has made of Eileen's health insurance. So really, I will get organized when hell freezes over or when I throw the phone out the window, whichever comes first. This is my plan and I'm sticking to it.





In the meantime, I am stuck on a key part of my new mystery. But after tomorrow's marathon phoning I may change the whole plot anyway to a woman driven mad by insurance companies who gets her revenge by locking all of the people who run these companies in a room with a non-stop recording telling them to "Press 1" now, but never letting them do it!